I haven’t been posting too much lately due to a little emergency we had within the Long house.
Here’s a brief synopsis: This past Saturday Kevin and I had sat down to eat dinner. We were laughing and just catching up on our day. Well he had been telling me about how his shoulder had been hurting on and off throughout the day. I got up to get him some tylenol (like any good wife would do) and when I returned he immediately told me to call 911.
At this point I had no idea as to what had happened. All I knew was that my husband was bent over, sweating, holding his chest, and looking like he was going to pass out.
I’ve never been in this kind of predicament. I’ve never had to be the person who was there for somebody else in an emergency. Kevin kept saying, “Don’t leave me, stay here please.” Naturally I did but for somebody else to look into your eyes with fear and basically count on you during a stressful time such as that, well it’s scary.
After all six paramedics arrived Kevin was hooked up to a machine to have an EKG done. We found out that the upper part of his heart wasn’t in sync with the lower half and his blood pressure had spiked to 171/89. We were advised to go to the hospital to make sure everything was okay.
Upon arriving, he had another episode. ER’s never seem to move quickly (they seem to move like molasses in winter time)
so I had to get somebody who was going to help Kevin immediately. They did another EKG and it seemed fine. X-rays were taken along with blood work and it all came up fine.
So here we are in a hospital at 2 in the morning wondering what had just happened. The Dr. wanted him to stay over night so we could see a heart specialist in the morning but Kevin insisted that he was fine and wanted to go home.
Kevin had been having little episodes here and there throughout the week so I went to work with him to be there in case he needed me. He had seemed fine for two days and we were given Orlando Magic tickets from a guy he works with. Even though I was uneasy about it, we went anyways. In the middle of the first quarter I began to relax and munch on the popcorn in front of me.
By the end of the first quarter Kevin was grabbing his chest. I felt like my whole world had once again been turned upside down. You do everything you can to stay calm, be the strong one, and comfort as much as you can but I swear, the insides of you are panicking like nobody’s business. Sheer terror pulsed through my body and I swallowed every tear that was bursting to fall from my eyes.
We sat someplace quiet to try and get him to calm down and it worked but I told him I’d feel better if we went to the ER, and when Kevin (Mr. Macho) agreed, I didn’t know if I felt more relieved or scared.
So there we were back in that dreaded ER. I’m watching my husband get poked and prodded, blood coming out of veins, and nurses scrambling around hooking him up to every machine.
Hours after hours drug on by and they came back saying, “We want you to stay overnight.” We did. He got into his room and once again with the machines and blood and needles, I was starting to loose my balance. Watching my husband lay there in pain and agony, it made my heart feel like it was tearing into pieces.
I went home just to let our dogs out and take a quick shower. I got back and Kevin was laying there looking peaceful. He saw me come and his face lit up with this loving smile, and his eyes became soft. (It made me feel good, like at least with my presence I was helping, being of some sort of comfort.)
That night, I could not sleep I stayed overnight in the chair with Kevin holding my hand. I knew he felt bad because in his sleep he kept saying he was sorry. Once again it broke my heart. I cannot describe to you the kind of love I feel towards my husband. I wanted to switch lives with him, I wanted to be the one in pain, I would have done anything to help him. The love I have for him is scary. Something I’ve never felt before. (Guess I married the right person, huh?)
Let’s fast forward cause nobody wants to hear the pity party of how I had not eaten and hadn’t got but one hour of sleep. (Needless to say I had to try very hard to keep my emotions in tact.)
It had been hours of waiting until he was taken from me so they could run a stress test and do an ultrasound of the heart.
Sitting in the waiting room by myself is when I lost it. I sat in this small cell like room for what seemed like hours. I sobbed until I ran out of tears. I prayed until I just ran out of words. The Dr. saw me (he must have felt bad)
and brought me back to him. He told me Kevin was a hoot and did real well and that he owed me dinner and flowers for scaring him. That Dr. is what I needed. I felt this calmness wash over me.
We have since left the hospital, have doctors to follow up with in the near future (to figure out what’s going), we got his eyes checked (he needs glasses), and he’s been home taking it easy. Man, it feels so good to have him home.
How Are Wives Supposed to Handle Their Husband’s In Pain?
1. The best thing I have realized that I can do is to just be there for him. There were so many wives that would leave and then come back to check on their husbands in the hospital the next day and I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the room. (I couldn’t understand how wives will just leave them there.) I’m not saying that you should stay 24/7 but just make sure he knows that you’re there for him. Be his number one supporter, somebody he can trust, and lean on.
2. Pray. Pray until you can’t anymore. Pray with him and by yourself. I’ll you what, feeling as useless and low as I did, sometimes I feel like prayer really helped. It helps when I felt like there was nobody there for me, I could know that I had God to lean on.
3. Something else I learned, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to break down. Holding it all in and being strong all the time will do a number on your health. Trust me, I held it in until I was in that waiting room by myself and it was only then that I realized I needed to take care of myself. Not having a meal for at least 24 hours was not helping, neither was the lack of sleep. I realized I can’t be a good caretaker or supporter when I’m falling apart myself.
So anyways, I’m back to blogging yay! I’ll be continuing our adventure from here. Take care of yourself my friends.