I’ve been working as an event coordinator/administrative assistant/front desk helper/customer service junkie/popcorn specialist/bumper queen/kitchen slave for quite a few weeks now and as you can see, my blogging duties are falling very far behind. It’s disappointing that I cannot seem to keep up with my regular “chores” along with cooking, taking care of a husband, caring for a house, blogging activities and working.
Each day, I get up an extra hour before my husband does. I get the dogs taken care of, get the coffee going, pack our lunches, make some sort of breakfast, get myself ready and fingers crossed I’ll be able to get some blogging work in.
Because it is summer time, our bowling alley has been swamped. Full of kids and families in constant need of attention. I’m talking just constant go, go, go until it hits 5:00 PM. It’s downright exhausting and after our hour and a half ride home, I immediately get dinner started before I even think about getting out of my uniform. After dinner, cleaning up, walking the dogs and tidying up the house, I plop myself down on the couch.
I’m so mentally exhausted lately that I can’t seem to sit in front of my laptop and focus on writing. It’s very frustrating and I’ll admit that I’ve cried over it a few times. Although my husband has never asked for meals or a clean house, I feel that it is my responsibility. I’m trying to maintain my previous homemaker skills along with keeping a job and it’s just not working out like I’d prefer it to. Sometimes I’ll get so caught up in everything and running around before I become not only physically exhausted, but mentally as well.
I’m not sure how women who are mom’s with a full time career can keep up with everything. I just don’t think I could do it all, so kudos to ya’ll!
Yesterday when we got home, I decided to make myself some toast. As I was walking around getting things done like normal, my puppy, Snoopy decided to jump and take the piece of bread from my hand that was at my side. I immediately burst into tears. Kevin felt so bad and jumped up to make me another piece. It’s quite funny looking back on it and we both came to the realization that my unreasonable outburst was brought on by exhaustion.
Instead of putting everything on my shoulders and telling myself I need to get it all done NOW, I have decided to space everything out. To not look at our bathroom that needs to be cleaned, and get upset because I let it get out of hand in the first place. To not look at the sink full of dishes and feel my blood boil because I never got to it the night before. To not get really frustrated with myself when I realize that I left our lunches at home when we’re starving at work.
I let all those little things pile up and I start to feel useless when I can’t remember or get to everything exactly when I feel it should get done. I realized that it was me who was putting all this pressure on myself for getting things done when I would constantly apologize to my husband for a messy house or having to go out to eat on a Tuesday instead of Friday and he would always respond with, “It doesn’t bother me, relax.”
I finally realized that I’m not being judged for what I can and cannot get done within one day. That is was my own pressure I was mentally putting on myself. That I’m the only one who gets mad when I can’t get a blog post submitted every day or that there’s been a basket of clean clothes sitting in the hamper ready to be folded for the past three days.
I have finally realized that I cannot always be “Superwoman,” and that to have a normal, semi-messy home is okay. Or having to go out to eat twice instead of once a week won’t break the bank. And that nobody cares if I take a few days off of blogging and there’s not a new post to read everyday.
I cannot always be what society deems as the perfect wife who always has dinner made, never a piece of hair out of place, who practices yoga and makes time for her everyday run, the woman who is the perfect employee and wife. But you know what? I am all of those things, just not all of the time at the same time, and that is okay.