Have you ever been best friend’s with someone and you eventually get to the point to where you can’t possibly picture your life without them? Then all of a sudden they’re gone. I’m sure it has happened to you at least once. Life moves forward, things change and people grow. Well, I once had this best friend who left Florida and took off for a new adventure in New York. While I was happy for her, I was deeply saddened by the fact she left. Back then social media wasn’t all the hype it is today, so we eventually lost touch completely.
Sometime last year, I felt like the wind had been taken out of me as I looked down at my phone to find a friend request from a long lost friend. It was her, Miss Anne herself had added me as a friend on Facebook. Our friendship had taken off from there. We were messaging back and forth nonstop about all the things we missed from the years we were vacant from each other’s lives. I told her I wanted to get into blogging and she thought it was such a great idea, so she followed in my footsteps. It’s been an absolute joy!
I want to share with ya’ll a very special post to Anne. I’m sure some of you can relate as well, and I encourage you to share this post with your friends who also have this same struggle. Anne’s blog is all about her and her husband’s thrifty life. It’s filled with life adventures, their infertility struggles, adoption joys, and some of the best money saving tips you’ll come by. Check out her website: Our Thrifty Life
And now check out a very inspirational post of her’s titled: “We’re Quitting” written by Anne Lauria from www.ourthirftylife.com
I AM INFERTILE
We struggle with infertility. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) just under a year ago while under the care of a reproductive endocrinologist. The doctor told us his hopes were incredibly high for us to conceive very quickly under his care and that we would be a simple case needing minimal medical intervention. The months came, and the months went and nothing happened. We were in this cycle of emotions every single month.
Cycle day 1 (period day one for normal people 😉 ): Anger, sadness, depression. Another failed cycle. I’m a failure again. Why doesn’t my body work?
Cycle day 3: Acceptance. By cycle day 3 we have accepted last month did not work out as we had hoped. I do not yet feel hopeful for the coming month yet.
Cycle day 5: Hopefulness. Hope is finally springing up through my numb emotions and I’m preparing my heart for yet another cycle.
Cycle day 7: Joy! The time is coming again for us to give it a go! We’re excited for hope for next month!
9 Days Past Ovulation (DPO): It’s too early, we know it… but I test anyway because I’m a testing addict! Faint positive! Is it a left over trigger shot (HCG shot used to mature ovum)? I don’t know but I don’t care today! I’m excited to see two lines, either way.
11 DPO: Test again! I’m hoping the line is getting darker meaning we have ourselves a sticky bean! ……Nothing. One line. Are you kidding me?? Cue bargaining…. God, PLEASE I will do ANYTHING you want if you let this work for us. What if I buy something in faith? What if I trust in your plan– can’t your plan be this month??
13 DPO/Cycle Day 1: Good ole Aunt Flo shows up soon and I can feel her coming— The grief begins again.
THE REAL COST OF PCOS & INFERTILITY
Along with the psychological impact of trying to conceive, the physical aspect is pretty crazy as well. The medications had terrible side effects like bloating, mood swings, hot flashes, exhaustion, injection site redness, nausea, and so many other uncomfortable, terrible things.
The cost was so high for the chance being so low for us to conceive. Between the prescriptions, copays, residual due after insurance, gas, tolls, and most of all time spent going back and forth 3-5 times per month, we were emotionally, physically, and financially exhausted.
OUR HAPPY ENDING
Brandon and I made the
heart-wrenching amazingly joyful decision to end our journey toward pregnancy as of a few weeks ago. Many of you are aware that adoption has always been on my heart– and it has always been plan A to adopt. I’m so grateful to have a husband who was supportive and desired to adopt just as much as I did. Although it was plan A, I wanted to be pregnant and carry a baby, too. After enough failed cycles with the reproductive endocrinologist we made the tough decision to stop pursuing the treatments and start saving the money instead.
I refuse to let infertility continue to consume my life. I refuse to let infertility continue to let me postpone plan A. I’m ready to be joyful for pregnancy announcements again. I’m ready to be joyful for women when i see pregnant bellies again.
Our baby may not grow in my belly, but they will grow in our hearts.
We are so excited to have a promise of 10 more fingers and 10 more toes in our future. We are so excited to have a heart to love with all ours in our future. We are so excited to have an answered prayer. We are so excited that our lives will be forever changed by choice. Our lives will be full and messy and tough.
WE’VE BEATEN INFERTILITY. NOT BECAUSE I BECAME PREGNANT, BUT BECAUSE WE’VE RESOLVED TO CREATE OUR FAMILY DESPITE THESE CHALLENGES. WE’VE BEATEN INFERTILITY BECAUSE WE WILL NO LONGER ALLOW IT TO CONSUME OUR LIVES.
One chapter is closing and another chapter is opening for us — I couldn’t be more thrilled.
These next few years will be used for preparing our household for home studies, paperwork, saving money for all the costs and fees, and a ton of prayer. We ask that you pray for our journey and for the child that is already growing in our hearts. We pray, and hope you will too, that God will show us a particular country to choose. We pray God will open these doors financially, emotionally, and physically.
Thank you for all of your support as we step into this new territory and new adventure. We know that you will love this baby as much as we will.